


Time

by flamehairedwritings



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, I'm Sorry, Swearing, distant weeping, endgame spoilers, from me, i wrote this very late last night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:36:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamehairedwritings/pseuds/flamehairedwritings
Summary: 'The excitable, over-lapping conversations ceased as they all looked to him.'





	Time

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: Clint returns alone.
> 
> Please don't copy, steal or re-post my work; credit does not count.

* * *

 

 

It’s the most indescribable of feelings, elation turning to grief.

Steve began to look around the group, his joy, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a very long time, growing as each member began to return. Well, nearly—

Clint fell to his knees.

The excitable, over-lapping conversations ceased as they all looked to him.

His eyes were shining, and vacant.

“Where’s Nat?”

It was Bruce who asked. No one else dared to.

Clint didn’t speak, couldn’t speak, but lifted his gaze, settling it on Steve.

Steve’s world began to crumble.

 

* * *

He found the envelope on his pillow.

He’d had to turn away, had to walk away as Bruce fell to his knees and Clint finally let out a pained sound. No one stopped him. No one called after him. No one knew what to do. Perhaps they hoped that he would have taken the lead. Perhaps they hoped he would have led them in their mourning, tell them she couldn’t… not in vain.

He couldn’t.

They’d all known there was a risk but… Hope had been a dangerous balm to fear.

He’d closed the door to his room, his hands shaking as tears streamed down his cheeks. His chest ached. He’d turned to the bed, needing to sit down before his legs gave out, and saw it.

His name was written neatly on it in her hand.

He froze.

He desperately didn’t want to open it.

He desperately did.

He neared the bed.

His hands reached for it before his mind could catch up.

He opened it carefully, and withdrew a folded piece of paper.

Her handwriting covered both sides of it.

He sat as he instantly began to read.

 

 

 

> _Dear Steve,_
> 
> _If you’re reading this then I have succeeded. As I always do. I can’t help that I’m so perfect, it’s just in my nature. Don’t give this paper that look. I hope you are giving a look otherwise this will be embarrassing. I hope it made you smile, however faintly, though. If not now then sometime soon. Sometime in the future when you’ve saved the world and we’re all heroes again._
> 
> _  
>   
>  I couldn’t go without saying goodbye, but I couldn’t say goodbye._
> 
> _I knew what had to happen the moment Clint and I agreed to retrieve the Soul Stone. I’ve done my homework. What else did you think I was doing all those late nights? It had to be me. Clint needs his family back and they need him, and I need this family back, even if I’m not there to see it in all its fucked up glory. I’m not proud of many things, but being a part of all of this over the years has made me so proud._
> 
> _I’m sorry, though. Sorry I won’t be able to say goodbye properly. I want to see you all as you are, though, hopeful, determined, ready. Besides, I would find the argument over who wants to be sacrificed so boring. It’s better this way, easier._
> 
> _I want you to promise you’ll do something for me, though, I know, I know it’s a shitty thing to do, a dead person making someone promise to do something, some may even say manipulative, but, hey, I’m just being consistent. I want you to promise me that you’ll live your life, Steve Rogers, after all this is over. Because it will end. I don’t doubt you’ll all save the day one last time._
> 
> _I want to thank you, too. You brought something wonderful to my life, something I didn’t think I’d ever be fortunate enough to have again. Being your friend has been one of the great honors of my life and something else that has made me so, so proud. I can’t describe to you how much it has meant to me. Thank you for believing in me._
> 
> _I have to go now. We’re all getting ready to leave, Clint is calling me. He has his own letter, too, I’ve said my goodbyes to him. Look after him for me, please. Dumb idiot can’t really do much unless I’m there to tell him to._
> 
> _Look after yourself, too._
> 
> _I’m sorry we didn’t get to have our time._
> 
> _All my love, always,_
> 
> _Natasha_

 

The letter dropped from Steve’s hands as he covered his face with them, and he wept. He wept for all that had been and all that could have been.

If anyone had deserved to live… If anyone had deserved… 

His sorrow overwhelmed him.

 

* * *

 

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